Amanda

Good Evening,

Today was my last day at the shelter. I am happy yet sad. Over these last few months I have come to the conclusion or moreso the acceptance of being a cat lady. Not that kind of cat lady. The one who is too successful, too independent and too heartbroken to get married and have a family. Guys=Disappointment and heartbreak (unless you are a Jonas Brother or Anoop Desai or Ryan Braun) But anyways I'm content with living in a great house with three great dogs, five great cats, best friends and the occasion one night stand. I will never forget that night my Cowboy Cassanova (that's his new name instead of a$$face) walked in and I was convince that it was fate he stumbled into an animal shelter the day he was suppose to leave for the military. Oh wait he's a effing liar. There was no military. So after three months of praying for him, thinking of him, hoping for him, texting him, he breaks my heart and probably could care less. I hope he's insanely happy with his slutty girlfriend and I hope that I never see him again. And maybe one day I won't think about him and one day he'll admit he screwed up and I can laugh in his face. That's mean. I deleted his number from my phone. All my text messages from him, including the ones he called me crazy, told me to kiss his ass and text him when I have my big girl pants on. Fuck him. Sorry. No I'm really not. I want to be over him so badly. But it's easier said than done. So how do I go from last day to cowboy cassanova? Other than the July 8th incident I was alway afraid I'd run into him since he lives out that way. But it's another stupid symbol of me closing that chapter in my life. However, since I am listening to this song write now I want to include the refrain because it totally explains the day. "No Parade" by Jordin Sparks. For real best song. on an amazing c.d.
"Just another day like any other
Nin the sky said run for cover
Just another reason i never thought it would end this way
There was no parade, no lights flashing, no song to sing along the way
There was no parade."

So my last day sucked. I mean, it was what I expected. See the girls I work with well 2 out of the 3 think I'm pretty dumb and slow and well I'm sure they are glad that I'm gone. One that doesnt mind me I will miss. We share the same birthdate. And she was like the only one that was like I'll talk to you on facebook. The others acted like it was just another day. So thank you shelter girls for making me feel crappy. Thank you for making me feel like I'm a reject. Thank you for making me think I'm slow and useless. I appreciate you guys really, I do. I will miss the animals. I wish I could adopt all of them. I love cats and dogs. I did however give two geckos really cool names, Vesuvius and Pompeii. Rockin huh? Like for real, it was like they won't even notice I'm gone. But they did ask if I'd work another week. Hell no. I think not. Too much stress. And Drama. So I guess I'm back at Target. Lovely.

Ok, so continuing with my debby-downer post, let's talk about school. I have never done this much homework. And honestly, I could be trying harder. Like for real. I'm a whore to sleep. So I go to bed by 10:30. Because I would rather sleep. I hit the snooze button too many times. I roll out of bed at the last minute, throw on clothes and walk out the door, looking average or below average. Usually I don't care about Psych so it's below average. Well ok, I don't know why I'm being so hard on myself. Maybe its because I'm in a downer mood from my previous paragraphs. Damn boys and work. But anyways. I have yet to get an A, ok I lied, I did get an A on what was suppose to be a test but we did it as a worksheet. But I haven't .I'm just frustrated cuz I guess I want Interior Design to be my thing. Im no athlete, no singer, no actress, no muscian. So can this please be my thing? It's not so far. It's hard work, I can't write block letters for anything, I suck at drawing. I don't know. I'm not giving up, cuz this is what I want to do, so I have to work harder. Which leaves no time or anything. Yay.

This is a brighter note, so it gets its own paragraph. I decided I want to do hospitality design which is designing hotels. How awesome is that? I'm excited. And I'm gonna apply for another internship with Disney but this would be professional and I'd need to send a resume and everything. I just don't know when I want to apply. Maybe next semester. I need a good grade point average.

Let's see, what else is new that isn't me complaining? I can eat a medium size bag of M&Ms in less than a week. That's exciting. 12 ounces of M&Ms. I have $5.11 saved for my trip to Austria/Czech Republic/Bulgaria in March 2011. I have $3694,89 left to raise, I think. Or maybe it's less. I paid off my Old Navy card. So I only have 3 bills left. Last Friday JFer came over and we watched Grease. Why was high school not like that? And girls we are so the Pink Ladies. I have fallen in love with the show Top Chef. It's amazing. Also in love with Flipping Out. I have almost completed season five of The Office this last weekend. I think I want to marry Andy. I mean of course I would marry Jim, but I'm still a little annoyed with John Krasinski getting engaged. Oh and of course, I MISS YOU GIRLS!!!!!! Please all be safe. And come home soon.

Well that was a long post. Alot of complaining I apologize. I'm gonna shower, and then maybe write a little to my Violet and Nick story. That should help. If not I'm gonna sing in my hairbrush to Celine Dion or Jonas Brothers.

Love you girlies! Study hard but party harder. NO just kidding. Don't party cuz I'm not there!
Miss you!

~A.